A description of a map written in text - does it make any sense? Please help!

[sarawinter]

Hi peeps, long time since I was here, but I really need your help.
I am writing a story and in it I am trying to describe a complicated map in as simple a way as I can... though I don't think I'm doing it very well :/

Here is the first introduction to the map, straight from chapter 2:

“I promise! It is for real this time.” Leffe lifted up an item that he had been carrying under his arm and placed it on the table with a thunk. “Look - a map!” he said and opened it.
The remarkable thing, Teacup noticed, was that the map did not look like a map at all, but rather like a dusty wooden box. It was about one foot wide and almost as high. The box consisted of several panels, which were screwed together in some strange ingenious way, that not even Teacup could work out, with small wooden hinges along the sides.
There was, however, a map depicted on each of the panels that the box was opened up to, and the amazing thing was that they were three-dimensional. Teacup looked closer and saw that they were not massive panels he was looking at, but ones that were made up of several thin sheets of wood, each layer as thin as an eggshell. Peaks and valleys were indicated by an increased or decreased number of layers.
Teacup forgot himself for a moment and let his fingers touch the fine carvings. It was magnificent, the longer he looked at the map, the stronger his desire became to understand who had made it and what all the little runes and symbols that littered the panels meant. But he finally managed to look away from it. He would not be drawn in just because there was an interesting map in the bargain.

Then, a couple of chapters later we get to look at it closer:

Two grand arched doors, one on each of the top panels, was portrayed on the front of the box. Along the edges of the doors the maker had carved vines, dragons, fairies, and other fairytale creatures in a very dwarfish style, which looked as if Michelangelo had been taught to use a pickaxe instead of a paintbrush.
On its backside there was a long text written in jagged dwarfish runes, which they could not read.
They opened the box. The two top panels opened to the sides, just like the doors illustrated on them, but the panels beneath could be pulled apart, more like opening curtains or sliding doors. Beneath them were two more panels, that could be pulled apart even further, ultimately revealing the large bottom panel that held them all together.
On all of the panels a map was depicted, except on the inside of the first panel, which showed a grand city built into the side of a snow capped mountain.
The individual maps on the other panels looked like they represented the inside of a dwarf mine, with long angled tunnels between square-ish spaces, which could be rooms. Although the forms on the inner panels were not as rigid.
Then there was the bottom panel which could only be examined when all of the other panels had been slid apart. On it was a tree that seemed to be drawn out of one very long line, criss-crossing itself symmetrically a multitude of times, and connecting at some point, forming an infinite shape, where the roots of the tree was just as large and elaborate as its crown.
In every corner and on every edge where there was free space, there were signs, symbols and runes.

Does this description make any sense at all? Can you see the way I want the map to be or is it far too complicated?
I am very grateful for all feedback.

Thanks in advance

[rdanhenry]

A box has three dimensions. You've given a size for two of them. Is the box fairly flat or closer to a cube?

Since Michelangelo was primarily a sculptor, I'd replace "paintbrush" with "chisel". This actually makes more sense of "dwarfish style", as it differentiates method rather than medium.

A "dwarf mine" would be a mine where one extracted dwarfs. Go with "dwarfish mine".

s/b "the roots... were"

The first description talks about peaks and valley. That sounds like a landscape map. Then, the second description says it is a map of a mine, with the interior tunnels and chambers displayed. These sound like two different maps.

Consider drawing out the description more. Explore the box along with your characters. Don't try to get it over with, but go over the implications. "On its backside there was a long text written in jagged dwarfish runes, which they could not read." What does that add at this point? If they cannot read them, they at least recognize them. Is this general information, or would one of the characters need to explain to the others what they were? Try rewriting with dialogue mixed in between bits of description. The one clear thing about the map is that it is in layers. Explore that. Stretch things out a bit, so that we get one layer, explore that a bit, and only then move on to the next. And use the reactions of the characters to let the reader know what parts of the description are significant (or should at least appear significant at this point). I think you actually need to use more words, add more detail, to get the description you want, if this item is actually important (for example, fill out what "a grand city" means here... is it just that there are a lot of openings into the mountain, or are there carved towers and elaborate balconies?), but in order to keep the reader with you, it should be mixed with character reactions that will (a) help keep the reader's interest, (b) help the reader understand the significance of the features described in the context of your world, and (c) allow you to express the characters through their reaction to the map.

[sarawinter]

A box has three dimensions. You've given a size for two of them. Is the box fairly flat or closer to a cube?

Since Michelangelo was primarily a sculptor, I'd replace "paintbrush" with "chisel". This actually makes more sense of "dwarfish style", as it differentiates method rather than medium.

A "dwarf mine" would be a mine where one extracted dwarfs. Go with "dwarfish mine".

s/b "the roots... were"

The first description talks about peaks and valley. That sounds like a landscape map. Then, the second description says it is a map of a mine, with the interior tunnels and chambers displayed. These sound like two different maps.

Consider drawing out the description more. Explore the box along with your characters. Don't try to get it over with, but go over the implications. "On its backside there was a long text written in jagged dwarfish runes, which they could not read." What does that add at this point? If they cannot read them, they at least recognize them. Is this general information, or would one of the characters need to explain to the others what they were? Try rewriting with dialogue mixed in between bits of description. The one clear thing about the map is that it is in layers. Explore that. Stretch things out a bit, so that we get one layer, explore that a bit, and only then move on to the next. And use the reactions of the characters to let the reader know what parts of the description are significant (or should at least appear significant at this point). I think you actually need to use more words, add more detail, to get the description you want, if this item is actually important (for example, fill out what "a grand city" means here... is it just that there are a lot of openings into the mountain, or are there carved towers and elaborate balconies?), but in order to keep the reader with you, it should be mixed with character reactions that will (a) help keep the reader's interest, (b) help the reader understand the significance of the features described in the context of your world, and (c) allow you to express the characters through their reaction to the map.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my text and analyse it

These are really great and useful points that you point out!

I never thought that it was more words I needed, but I see exactly what you mean.

I will get right to work fixing these things.