February 2010 Entry: Rotating Madness

[Steel General]

Very cool idea and nicely brought to "life".

[arsheesh]

That is just too cool for words Djekpek. What a novel and exciting concept for a dungeon! Kudos for creativity. Oh, and have some rep as well.


Cheers,

-Arsheesh

[torstan]

Looks great! I guess you've spotted this and taken it into account - the relative movement of 45 degrees per slice mean that some passageways will never line up with others. So you can't get from 12 to 14. You need to go to 13 first. That's very neat. Of course you could drop these into maptool as separate layers on the map and rotate them very easily. That would look very cool indeed.

I'd suggest that you don't split the text over the top of the map. The last couple of sentences are really hard to read.

Otherwise, this looks great. Good work.

[jfrazierjr]

Looks great! I guess you've spotted this and taken it into account - the relative movement of 45 degrees per slice mean that some passageways will never line up with others. So you can't get from 12 to 14. You need to go to 13 first. That's very neat. Of course you could drop these into maptool as separate layers on the map and rotate them very easily. That would look very cool indeed.

I was thinking of doing the exact same thing Torstan. Really screw with my players heads... I assume that with a bit of macro magic, I could probably automate the movement also down to a single button click.

[torstan]

Absolutely. The one thing that wouldn't move would be the VBL which is a pain.

[rdanhenry]

Well, this contest is requiring a lot of text. A chance to exercise my editorial muscles!

In the intro text: "heared" should be "heard".

In the Objective: move the comma from in front of "alive" to in front of "and".

In Encounters: the undead hunters should "dwell in" or "inhabit", not just "dwell"
Correct "resteless" to "restless"

In Notes: commas should follow the phrases "Every five minutes" and "In the center of the crypt"

In Map Key: "described" should be "describe"
Also in the Library, you have a double period. Should be one dot for a period or three for ellipsis.
In 11, "after dead" isn't strictly wrong, but "after death" would be standard.
"Afterlife" is normally a single word, but I rather like the hyphenation. However, if you do it in one place, you should do it every time.
"Price room" should probably be "Prize room". "Trophys" should be "trophies". The sentence here is ungrammatical. I suggest "Room filled with trophies collected by Luan during his lifetime." Which is still a sentence fragment, but a grammatical phase acceptable to save space.
#14: Replace double period with ellipsis (three dots) or comma. The "And" beginning the next sentence should be removed (and "of course" should be set off by a comma).
You should also standardize punctuation. You have some room names separated from descriptions with a period, others by a colon. Either is fine, but you should stick with one. Also, for consistency, I would place a period after even single word room descriptions such as "Storage".

You'd probably have picked up on most of these upon review, but it's much harder to proofread your own work.

I really like the concept, and other than the technical corrections I've noted above, you have created some fine descriptive text. I expect several parties of a adventurers will be encountering this crypt in the near future.

[ravells]

Really clever! great work and beautifully done.

[Djekspek]

thanks guys (especially rdanhenry for the textual comments, my native language is not english so it's really appreciated you took a look at it ). Changed some text and corrected some minor flaws. I attached the jpg and the pdf files. cheers!

### Latest WIP ###

[mearrin69]

Really, really nice map. Oh, and, your English is probably better than mine and a heck of a lot better than my Dutch!
M

[Jaxilon]

Another nicely thought out entry. Somewhere in my old files I have a room that rotates and thus provides new passages to explore but this takes it to another level.

If you combined this with an ocean tide that would flood some of the chambers periodically it would increase the stress levels of your players as not only would they need to figure out the dungeon but they would also be up against the clock.

Now, my wanting to do this to my friends probably shows some level of diabolic thinking but hey, my goal is to make them sweat bullets. Would also make for some kind of horrific moment when they came to a pile of moist bodies in the middle of the corridor just the other side of a barely decipherable line in the floor. At least until they figured it out they would be wondering what a pile of wet corpses means.

Muahaha, sounds so very fun