Need your opinion on a scorched region

[ThomasR]

Thanks guys ! I'm a bit stuck with one illustration at the moment, some kind of Giger-like monolith, but I hope to tackle it soon.

Et impatient de voir la ville du coup !

Rien que pour vos yeux, cher ami.

Capture d’écran 2016-10-24 à 22.24.18.png

By the way, feel free to tell if the line work is too sketchy or not. I'm hesitating to make it more clean.

[Abu Lafia]

Ha, you really make my mouth water by only posting little bits of your map Thomas The obelisk is looking wonderful! in my view the blue goes perfect with the brown of the crater and the amount of "sketchiness" seems quite right to give the light blue ornaments a nice glowing effect.
Maybe it's just an optical illusion, but with the "bottom" of the inner ellipse, being covered by the foregrounded edge of the crater, it gives the impression, that the obelisk isn't totally centered (hope it's understandable what i mean... ). It's a minor thing though and maybe it's obsolete in the whole picture later. Really looking forward to see the whole map soon. From what i've seen so far, it's going to be spectacular!

Edit: I'm not that good at perspective drawing, but maybe the mentioned impression has to do with the angle of the obelisk's tip?

[Ilanthar]

That's a big and cool blue glyph pillar !

By Thomrey
By the way, feel free to tell if the line work is too sketchy or not. I'm hesitating to make it more clean.

It looks fine to me, but it has a post-apo/ruined city look... Is it the case? If not, I guess more clean lines would correct that.

And, I kinda agree with Abu about the not really centered impression. Maybe just an impression though.

[Greg]

I think it looks really nice Thomrey! I love the colours you've chosen for it, the pattern looks great and works well, and I love the layered levels around it.

I agree with the others about the decentred look though, but the more I stare at it, the less I can work out what's causing it, which I know really doesn't help. It might be the shape of the smallest crater, the one it's actually in. Perhaps try making the back curve a bit flatter behind the pillar?

[Warlin]

I think you're on the way to show us a master piece Thomrey. All this bits of your map are wonderful, can't wait to see the final product.

[Mouse]

Oh wow! I must have had my head in the sand for a couple of days.

This is looking wonderfully exciting. Excellent work

[snodsy]

Really nice job on this, I might suggest to push the monolith up past the back ridge line to give more depth? really like the contrasting blue to the brown, nice job.

[ThomasR]

@ Abu : Thank you Martin ! Hope you'll like the final draft (BTW it's ready and approved by the client so, it's coming soon). About the obelisk, I gave the point a little nudge to the left. Maybe I shouldn't have but it's done and this part is a tiny part of the map. The open sky mine is supposed to be deep into the crater. I tried to change the perspective but too much had to be modified so, I left it as it was hoping the shadows would help. You'll tell me in the final piece.

@ Ilanthar : I redid the linework of the city without much improvement so I played a little bit with the shadows casted by the buildings.

@ GLS : Thanks and you might be right about the shape of the mine shaft but let's say it has a different shape than the crater To tell the truth, I tried to fix it but had inadvertently merged two layers so, I couldn't do much.

@ Warlin : It's coming and I hope you're right

@ Mouse : Thanks a lot !

@ snodsy : I tried it earlier but it's dangerously close to the edge of the map so I guess it'll have to do but thanks for the idea.

As I said before, the map is done and I'm glad to have finished my first paid commission. I'd like to thank all of you for your help. even if I did not put all your good advices to use, know that it helped me a great deal. The map is coming as soon as the client gets his full resolution file. I'll also give some infos about the setting and the compass rose that I'm pretty proud of even if it's very simple.

Thanks again !

[Voolf]

Those bits and pieces are starting to draw a pretty nice picture thomrey. I like your cliffs and the monolith is awesome. I would push it out from the center hole to see its all beauty but it looks cool as it is.