Need your opinion on a scorched region

[ThomasR]

Hi people,

I'm currently working on a commission and the client wants a region devastated by a war. I thought magic, went to some wonderful maps for reference and came up with this.

00Commish - copie.jpg

I intend to add many tiny rocks and terrain details (hope I won't overdo it) and some burning places but the big guns are set. The line work needs cleaning but that won't be a difficult task.

What I'd like to know is what you think of it ? Does the perspective works ok ? Is the composition good enough ? Is the style consistent ?

It's the first time I do broken land like these so I'd like your opinion on this. It won't be a WIP, just a little help asked.

Thanks in advance.

Thomas

[Jaxilon]

I think your cracks are great but you might want more of them since these seem to all sort of run a similar direction. Of course there may be a reason I don't know about.
So depending on your goal you might want more of a webwork of broken earth.

[snodsy]

Hey Thomrey, I think the grass like elements may be too big compared to other elements.

Compositionally I think there needs to be some weight bottom right to balance it. Maybe one dynamic element or focal point.

Your crevices and cliffs have a line that becomes dashed, maybe the hills do to, the are currently solid, but could dash out at the bottoms. Good Luck!

[Josiah VE]

Congrats on the commission!
Very neat! The center chasm looks a little lopsided to me, I think even if you just rotated it a bit it would look a bit better.
You've drawn the elements wonderfully, I think it's in need of some terrain detail fill, which I assume you'll add.

[waldronate]

Was the devastation intended to be a single event or just general destruction from a prolonged period of events? If it was a single event, then you might want to run the ridgelines semi-symmetrically out from the point of destruction. (basically a badly broken crater or anti-crater - a crater would have the sharp sides towards the inside because things blew outward, while an anti-crater would have the sharp sides toward the outside because the center got punched and buckled the outer edges).

The linework is nice and the perspective seems self-consistent. The sharp edges on things suggest fairly recent destruction. It does convey a nice sense of devastation. One thing to watch out for is too much in the way of spiky overhangs on what are presumably large features; overhangs tend to break off when they get larger than a certain size.

The ridges are mostly running up/down with the chasms trending left/right. I understand that this may be a stylistic issue rather than a feature of the landscape because it's tough to get the broken ridges like that to show well going left/right.

[- JO -]

For me, the terrain is devastated all right, but war is not the first cause that jumps on my mind. I agree with comments above : maybe a less natural pattern of cliffs could suggest a non-natural cause of land distorsion ? A point of origin or an opposition of two sides ?
But I like colors and drawing like they are : it's just the arrangement of elements, in my opinion.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to see the result of your commission ! The little bits that I can see are really promising !!!!
Keep up the good work !!!

[ThomasR]

First, thank you guys for your kind help !

@ Jaxilon : You're right ! I'll see if I can add one or two big chasms and I'll definitely add many little ones.

@ snodsy : the grass like symbols are actually a marshland and I'll definitely have to reduce the size of them, thanks for pointing it out. The bottom part is yet to be decided, the client told me it's an un planned area so I might cover it with some kind of "fog of war" with clouds. And the dashes at the bottom of the hills are on the to do list but I'm reluctant to do them as I went a little bit crazy in the hills department ...

@ Josiah : thanks ! I'll try to redraw the chasms and I plan on adding terrain filling who might help me get the big parts in a cohesive ensemble.

@ waldronate : the devastation is the result of a big war between raiding tribes and the locals so the destruction ought to be a bit chaotic. About the orientation of the features, you're right, I'm more after style than realism. I'll try to break it a little bit more and propose it to the client. I'd be curious, though, to see some attempts to show broken land running left/right even more when the cliff is facing the upper part of the map. I tried it on this piece but I'm not really satisfied by the result.

@JO : Merci Joel ! Ce qui m'a poussé à demander un peu d'aide c'est effectivement la composition. Je vais retravailler ça, je pense que le client acceptera un léger retard dans l'avancée prévue des travaux vu que c'est pour la bonne cause.

Thanks again for all those good advices, I'll try to adjust what needs be.

In the meantime, here's a little bit of practice I did this week-end on a train trip. I hope it will suit snodsy's eyes, our master of cliffs

Cliffs.jpg

Feel free to tell me what you think of it.

[Abu Lafia]

I missed this, so first of all congrats on the comission Thomas! It's looking really great so far and this is some mighty fine practice work you did there (you know, i love this sort of landscape, especially the chasms look superbe!). Your linework is hugely developing in my view and i'm totally looking forward to see this coming together. One question: On the piece you are working, will you keep the degree of linework detail, or are you going to add more as on the practice piece? Keep up the great work!

[ThomasR]

Thanks Martin ! For the congrats and nice compliments. I've been practicing on some other pieces (of uneven level of crispness) that I'll post as soon as I finish this post (at last they're scanned and cleaned) and I thing it helped me with the wristworks (I know it's ridiculous but thats better than wristbuilding or wrist fitness).
I guess on the piece I'll lower a little bit the degree of detail but I'll try to get more diversity in terrain filling, representing little rocks and such like on the beaches of this one (always the same). Do you think that could work ? The details of the others terrain types will be done with different shades of colors.

[snodsy]

First, thank you guys for your kind help !

In the meantime, here's a little bit of practice I did this week-end on a train trip. I hope it will suit snodsy's eyes, our master of cliffs

Cliffs.jpg

Feel free to tell me what you think of it.

Thanks for the compliment, but I would say there are quite a few others with nicer line work than I, on cliffs. You've done a really great job on yours, the face that will be receiving the sunlight might have fewer lines, since the sunlight would blow out some details, maybe too many valley lines? Just a thought